random thoughts on opportunity :)

I have been thinking about opportunity recently; how much ‘fate’ and available opportunities contributes to who we eventually become, and our own part to play. 

My mum sent me a video about opportunity, and its role in our lives. In it, there was a race on a spacey grassy field, which I think signified life; and there was a referee. As the race was about to start, the referee began making statements, and if you answered positively to any of those statements, you were asked to take 2 steps forward. He began, “take 2 steps forward if both of your parents are still married.” “If you had parents who were able to provide you with an education, take 2 steps forward.” “Take 2 steps forward if you never had to worry where your next meal was gonna come from.” “Take 2 steps forward if you’ve never had to assist your parents with paying the bills.” There were a couple other statements, and after he was done, the line appeared raggedy. There were people up front, people at the middle, people at the mid middle, and those who hadn’t even crossed the start line. Then he said to the guys in front, “every statement I have made has nothing to do with what any of you have done, has nothing to do with decisions you’ve made … … we all know these people (the people at the front) up here have a better opportunity to win the race. Does that mean the people at the back can’t race?”’ He answered, “No.” “The position, however,” he continued, “where the guys who hadn’t crossed the line were was not an excuse for them not to race.”

He then talked about how foolish it would be if the guys up front won the race and not acknowledge that they’d been given a head start.

The video got me thinking, life really is very raggedy and not fair. In many ways, of course there’s a part we play ourselves, but we are not solely fully responsible for where we get to. Our environment, developed resilience, and opportunities available have a big role they play in our successes. 

There are billions of people in our world today, each person with their own stories and unique voices, everyone with the opportunities and apparent setbacks that life has handed to them. 

Every person has an unfair advantage and/or setback one way or the other. While the people up front obviously have access to opportunities, and mostly do not have to struggle in their early lives, the guys from the back have some unfair advantages as well. For example, people who grow up in a single parent family, whilst not necessarily fully ideal, are likely to be more responsible, mature and resilient. If you’re an elder sibling, same goes. It has little to do with a decision you’ve made, it’s just what life has handed you. If you grow up in a resource constrained environment, you’re likely to be more creative and hustly to make ends meet and solve issues. If you have parents who value education and took it very seriously and pushed you to be your best, you would probably be sound academically. A person who wasn’t necessary brilliant academically in elementary/secondary school may have had the time to develop other skills like street smartness and emotionally intelligence.

If you had musical parents or friends who love music or was gifted with a good voice and help you learn an instrument, you may grow to love music and play instruments so well. The point is that everyone has been given something, it may be something that makes us pretty good, a talent, a strength handed over by genetics, smartness etc efc, or something we’re not all proud of, maybe an attitude, a family issue, or a random issue, that has nothing to do with what we’ve done or a decision we’ve made. And it’s why there’s no point comparing ourselves to someone else. The variables are too much, we’re different genetically, the environment we grow up in is different, and everyone of us is just unique. We can’t be hard on ourselves for the ‘bads’ we’ve been given,  it’s what we’ve gotten and it’s really not our faults. Instead we can try to make the best use of its, or grow where we can, and be graceful with ourselves.

Obviously, setbacks exclude the basic necessities of life, like adequate food, water, clothing, shelter, and sustainable employment. Those are things everyone should have, but in our reality today, people don’t. Anyone born in a war torn environment automatically is out on survival mode, with probably inadequate resources like food, education, peace. It has nothing to do with what they have done, it’s what life has handed over to them. If I was born in a place where resources are scarce like a war environment, or in an IDP camp, I wouldn’t have access to a lot of necessities. It’s crazy, but it’s our reality. I think this is why empathy is very important and why we have a responsibility to see past ourselves. 

Also, it’s important to note that whilst life has handed us some qualities, our attitudes aren’t all fixed. Anyone can learn to be more resilient, or more emotionally attuned, learn to love more, or learn to communicate better. For instance if I wanted to learn to communicate better/more, I could put myself in teams that require communication, or get out of my bubble and be in the middle of people. 

If I wanted to learn to learn to love more, I’d probably hang out with people I think love very well. Attitudes aren’t all that fixed. 

We have a responsibility to use all we’ve been given to the best of our abilities, to see the world as more than any single one of us, and take care of one another.

Thank you for reading!